did you ever wanted to be in this life together or did you plan to kill my heart...... having a night sleeping just dreaming of you feels so dam good but having sleepless nights really is just sad i dont know if the reason you gave me was an excuse or you really had no choice everyday upon seeing you it just makes my heart sink...... i dont even want to go near you fearing you'll get upset everysecond of my life after that day is really bad dont like going anywhere dont have the feeling to eat anymore being to stressed with everything trying to fake a smile infront of others is really hard having my friends to cheer me up am i giving them a hard time??? doing work and suddenly thinking of you losing evrything in 1night dont feel good in anyway feeling speechless all the time seeing others in a happy relationship makes me think of things that i dont know if would happen again dont want to let my family know about anything stressed out need to go somewhere to let everything out but where? feeling like going on a holiday alone with no one to borther or bother about me life's turning sour what should i do now? this is really very wrong ....... its a life of bitterness wit no happiness.....
my day was still very upset didn't want to go to the canteen to see her alwalys walking away from her so she wont be unhappy looking at people trying to woo her such as edwin makes me sink....): looking at others around you makes me jealous the exam went so wrng cause i kept thinking of you it went really bad after school you guys really helped me but it dindn't help much i dont know how to express my feelings to anyone theres no one i can talk to that can really help rather be at one coner for days without anything away from the light and just thinking the amount of preasure that school my dad my mum my aunts and uncles give me the stress you give me the stress everyone gives me makes it difficult for me to handle everything nobody ever said i wanted to give up but i just cant handle it but if you dont want me to give up say something encouraging and not ignore me you dont even want to be friends you just treat me like what you'll leave behind after you move out of your old house everything is screwing up im trying to save my life and i cant let out my troubles to anyone not my sister brother mum dad relatives and i dont think i want to tell my friends, dear all friends around me please dont speak of anything that involves this i really feel very bad i dont want to stay at home maybe in school is the best place im ending her..... bye..... iloveyou hope you'd reliaze that you love me back one day......bye...
